When we are over 40 it is possible to have fun. Laugh, enjoy life and make the most of every day we have left on this earth – isn’t it? Some days I wonder. Really. Is it really possible to change after 40?
Maybe life should remain just as it is now, get up and go to work, wish every day away waiting for the weekend when nothing happens except hours of TV watching.
Breaking out of that pattern seems almost impossible and yet I created this blog as a way of keeping myself focused on believing it is possible to have the courage to change what isn’t working, even later in life.
Right now everything seems able to stop me from moving forward and holding me back to the point where I wonder if my desire to travel and live abroad for months at a time will ever happen.
I downsized just 18 months ago. I am left with a lovely computer table, washing machine, clothes rail, TV/computer and a bed. Along with my clothes, kitchen utensils and other bits and pieces that pretty much is my life.
Lately I have been thinking about getting myself a one bedroom place to live in, which will mean buying a table, dining chairs and a sofa to go with my other stuff. It means more stuff. That means less chance of me moving any place any time soon.
So what’s the alternative? Well I get rid of even more of what I have.
My job. My studio flat. Most of what I have except my clothes.
It means swapping my computer for a laptop and owning very little in terms of “stuff”. Only the computer table will survive because my daughter bought that for me for my 50th birthday and I always want to keep it.
Removing these things from my life means being free to make a choice about what I do next – but how do I survive without an income? Where do I sleep? These practical things occupy my thoughts and once again have me running from my dream of travel and living abroad.
What do I do now? Well, that’s where I am stuck and where it all ends because I really don’t know just yet.
I have been introduced to the world of being a live in carer and it’s an option. Bed and board paid for I work 22 hours a day with only 2 hours off for 7 days a week. No rent or bills to pay means every penny gets saved and when I am ready I end the care work and I go abroad to live until the money runs out. At which time I return and do it all again.
It’s the only option I have come up with so far and as being a carer comes very naturally to me one that might just work.
It will be a huge change once again after just settling from the change of downsizing and moving to a new area (which I will be happy to leave) but if I am going to make a change something drastic has to happen.
This is my attempt to take practical actions so I can fear less and therefore live more.