Which Part of YOU Wants This? (And Which Part of YOU doesn’t? In the last session I explained the importance of asking the right question and this is a really important question to ask yourself. Which part of you wants to be confident?
There is a constant internal “battle” raging within you between your head and your heart, your lower self and your higher self, your conscious and your unconscious. Whichever you prefer to call it.
The battle is between what we “know” and/or what we say we want, and the actual results we produce.
As an example many people “know” that smoking is bad for them, they may even continually say “I want to give up smoking” and yet they continue to smoke. Or they give up for a little while and within a few weeks are smoking again.
This happens because there is an association that there is more pain involved than pleasure in producing a successful result. So again, focusing on what they don’t want, the person giving up smoking will continually talk about, eating extra food and putting on weight when they stop smoking, or being concerned about craving cigarettes.
Compare that to someone who has the desire to give up.
This person will focus on what they want. They will stay focused on the fact that they want to save money, live in a nicotine free environment, enjoy great health. They will create visual images in which they are healthy, and enjoying life without cigarettes.
Can you feel the difference between the two? Go back and read them again.
Even if you are not a smoker, the first statement of lack will produce a feeling of concern. Compare that to the second statement of focusing on desire, how does that make you feel?
So now you know that focusing on the pleasure produces feelings of joy and optimism. This internal feeling is a huge catalyst towards change and should not be ignored or brushed aside as unimportant.
In order to achieve what you want your energy must be uplifted to a level of excitement and expectancy – also known as desire! Once you figure out which part of you wants to be confident you can use it to create that desire.
Something Else To Look Out For
Please bear in mind as you read this that all human beings are different (and yet the same!). We will all need more or less of something to satisfy our individual needs.
Focusing on what you desire and associating pleasure to it may be enough for you, but for someone else they may need more.
This is why exploring how you operate in your own world is important, because by doing so you will be able to discover what limits you, what excites you and how you get in your own way!
With that in mind I wanted to bring something to your attention. When exploring what isn’t working for you, you will also want to discover how you sabotage your own success.
Oh I know what your lips are saying “you want this” “you are ready to do this” and yet your success is not forthcoming.
So you may need to discover why and how you sabotage yourself. Let me start you off for ten, self-hatred will be in there somewhere.
Now if you just threw your arms up in disgust “what me? I don’t hate myself” then I urge you to take a long hard look because chances are, there ain’t much love going on!
One of my biggest breakthroughs came when I finally admitted one of the hardest things for me to have to admit, which was, I hated myself. It was difficult for me to admit that because I saw myself as this loving, spiritual person, why would I hate myself or anyone else?
When I realised that the reason I found it hard to admit was because I had judgements attached to it then things changed. I accepted “what’s so” and that hating myself was neither good nor bad. It just was.
Again, this is too deep a subject to cover in this short article but I wanted to bring this to your awareness so that you can really begin to look for all elements that may be limiting you.
Two great books that will help you in this area are:
1. Loving What is – Bryon Katie
2. The Dark Side of the Light Chasers – Debbie Ford
By the end of those two books your life will be whole and complete. But remember, it’s not reading the books, or the knowledge that you gain from these books that will make that transformation for you.
Neither is it listening to Debbie Ford speak on Oprah, or attending a seminar run by Bryon Katie. None of this will make any real difference, but there is something that will. Are you aware of what it is yet?
You need to figure out which part of you wants to be confident and build your goals using that part of yourself. Its the best way to get started and stay on track. Otherwise the self-sabotage will raise its ugly head and stop your efforts.