4. You limit your self-confidence when you believe in failure
It really is so easy to be stopped by the very thought of failure, but not just any kind of failure, public failure!
Let’s face it, we could all go for our dream if we knew that we are the only person to know if we failed.
But when we step out and announce that we are going to achieve something big while many people will be happy for you and want you to succeed there will be others watching in the hopeful anticipation of seeing us mess up!
Because I lacked self confidence my tendency leaned towards being concerned about a few people who wanted me to fail rather than the many people supporting me to succeed and because my thoughts were on failing it scared me to do anything that might mean messing up.
Then one year things changed.
From reading personal development books I began to understand that my mistakes and failures are nothing more than another step towards success.
I began to look at things that didn’t work out differently and with a better understanding that they were simply indications that something needed to change or that doing it that work doesn’t work and I needed to find another way.
This was a big step for me because usually if things went wrong I wanted to give up or not bother.
Now, I see my mistakes as nothing more than an opportunity to grow, because at least I put yourself out there. Okay things didn’t go to plan, I can learn from what didn’t work.
I don’t really focus on the word failure any more I just keep focused on the fact that what I tried isn’t the way for me to achieve my goal.
Back in 2006 I began to learn about property as a way to build passive income and increase my asset worth. I wanted to own 10-12 properties and rent them out. I went along to a wealth creation weekend and met a company who focus on new builds.
You buy a house before it is built at a cheap price and once built you rent it out. In the past I had bought old properties out of London and rented them out to the council so this was something new. I made the decision to go for it and it was due to be built in 2009.
Unfortunately, the recession hit and the property never made it. The company building it went bust and eventually the company that spoke at the event, owing millions, filled for bankruptcy.
That one mistake cost me a lot of money and had a ripple effect on everything I had planned to do.
Now, I could look at that decision as a mistake but because I have a strong sense of self confidence instead I decided that:
New builds are not for me. I believe in the power of buying and renting property and will stick to buying old council houses and renting them out to the council. I will also get myself a mentor or coach to guide me.
I still want to buy more properties (I had to sell two to get myself out of the mess but still kept one) and I will continue to use property and the internet as my two wealth creation methods but I will be more careful about who I trust and what I get myself into.
I am also going to take on the guidance of a life coach or mentor because I knew nothing about property investment and never even read a book – I just attended one weekend and jumped right in…. not the best way to approach things that this!
The question to ask yourself here is “What learning opportunity(ies) have my mistakes and/or failures given me?”
If you are telling yourself that you failed then that’s great news (it really is) because most of the high achievers you will read about have.
Go and pick up a few auto biographies of people you admire, people who are where you want to be.
Read their story, and if you don’t find a section where they made a mistake, lost money or failed then let me know because I will want to read it myself!
There is a saying that goes “it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all” – well I believe “it is better to have tried and messed up than to have never tried at all”
Believing in failure kills self confidence DEAD. It stopped me from trying anything, from aiming higher and from believing I could take the first step. When you choose to see your mistakes as indications of what not to do or that you need to change tactics then you give yourself permission to mess up but to keep going.
In my book the person who fails is the person who never tries, or the person who tries and gives up because things didn’t work out for them.
A person who keeps going despite messing up is a total success because they are not going to stop until they have achieved their goal.
One thing that will help you achieve your goals is to ensure you apply your full focus and concentration to them.