This is the third of three articles – the first focused on on how I am re-inventing myself. The second on how you can focus on your own self re-invention.

Get help to succeed

When I struggled to figure out the best strength training and weight bearing exercises to perform I took on a personal trainer for a few months. Not only did I learn some routines but I also discovered the right form I needed to use to perform each exercise. I get the most out of my exercise routine because I perform it correctly.

This is how taking on help can help us reach our goals.

Joining a community of people doing what you want to do is another way. Or forming your own group of people who all have similar goals. Being around like-minded people ramps up our chances of success because it will increase our engagement with our dream.

Are you ready for self-reinvention in middle-age?

So you have read through everything I went through during my own self-reinvention.

Are you ready to take this on?

Are you ready to disrupt your life, work through your fears, push aside procrastination, develop your dream, work towards it even when you are tired and celebrate your successes?

Reinvention questions worth asking:

Do I have the skills and internal motivation needed to succeed?

If I wanted to sail a boat around the world the answer would be no. I’d have to learn how to sail as I have never done that before. In order to learn how to sail I would need to go through quite a transition period and internally I’d have to question whether I really had the motivation to achieve that goal.

What I would also have to be careful of is not selling myself short or using this as a reason to give up. There is a thin line between recognising our internal motivation and knowing when something is just too big a goal to achieve.

Am I pursuing my dream for the right reasons?

I have mentioned that sometimes I went after a goal because I thought it was the right thing to do. After all doesn’t everyone want a big house and a flash car? Well, it turns out that I really didn’t. I was pursuing a goal I was told was necessary to prove I had an abundant mindset. I believed that not having them was a result of ‘stickin thinking’ and that the only goal worth achieving was a material one.

This never really sat well with me. It wasn’t what I really wanted to chase. Underneath all of the stuff I wanted I recognised that the freedom to do whatever I truly desire was what I wanted. Of course I would still love to do it in style but I don’t have to wait until I have the big house and car to enjoy life. I could start doing that right now.

I love the fact that my dream to travel involves a never ending future. It is a long-term goal that I can pursue for many years.

There are many places in this world I would like to see and it means there may never be an end to my dream in my lifetime. I hope to still be travelling and blogging when I am 100 years old and beyond.

Another way to know if a dream is worth pursuing is from the pleasure it provides. If you find yourself taking photographs and looking through them for hours without even realising what the time is then you are achieving something called being ‘in the zone’ and it is a fantastic place to be.

I spend hours just looking at different parts of the world thanks to Google Earth. I become totally absorbed.

When I am watching a successful YouTuber, whether the video is weight loss related or not, I can easily find myself ‘losing’ 4-5 hours before I realise the time has gone.

Will I end up with conflicting goals that may get in the way?

Will my desire to learn how to sail get in the way of my work schedule, my family time and/or my other hobbies? If I play in a band what comes first. The band or my sailing lessons?

Are you ready to stop doing other things in order to achieve this goal? Will it really be worth it for you?

If you have a long-term desire to achieve something what else may have to be let go of in order for you to pursue that desire?

Can I really achieve this goal?

I know a positive mindset is everything. What we believe we can achieve is the mantra that has been drummed in but I also believe there is nothing wrong with asking a realistic question about whether or not something can really be achieved.

The stoics believe in doing just that. In stoicism they focus on what might go wrong, why something may not happen, what dreadful thing may occur. They believe in doing this so they are not living in denial and hiding behind a veil of positive thinking.

I really wish I had used this when I started buying property. Instead of hiding my fear of losing it all I wish I had looked at it square in the face and worked at making sure that never happened. Instead I lived a life of positive thinking believing that at any moment the recession would be over and work would come pouring my way – all the while secretly believing I was going to lose everything and it would all fall apart. I got what I secretly focused on for sure.

Now. I look at my fears. I accept them and look at their part in my life. Many times they are simply looking to warn me of what may or may not happen. I am happy to take a look and be aware but not allow them to stop me in any way.

If you have any doubts at all I believe it is better to face them and then look at the cause of them. What we resist persists and what we look at disappears. This is the mantra of courses I studied with Landmark Education.

By looking at whether you believe you can achieve your dream you are setting yourself up for success. You get your fears, doubts and negative feelings under control. You may even find that by looking at what you fear the most it simply disappears.

I guess I can call that growth.

Good luck with reinventing yourself in middle age or whatever age you are at right now.