When you think about having to ask for what you want/need how does asking make you feel?
Are you afraid of rejection? Do you think if you get a “no” its because there is something wrong with you? Or they are saying no to you (even though the reality is they are just saying no to what you asked for)
Do you think it’s weak to ask for what you want? Is your pride in the way of you asking for what you need?
Do you feel vulnerable? Does the thought of relying on other people make you feel as if you can’t cope. Or maybe you are afraid they are going to think you can’t cope if you ask.
Are you worried about asking for what you want? Why is that? What’s the reason behind your concern?
You need to give yourself time to look at how does asking makes you feel.
Now I am not saying I am a complete expert on this! But there are many things I will ask for…. food, a cuddle, sex, if I need to use something… and there are still things I have trouble asking for but I will eventually ask because I take myself through a process of identifying what my fear is.
Remember, with all things personal development related it’s not about being perfect. I hate the phrase “yeah… but you’re a life coach!” like this somehow makes me exempt from feeling anything negative and needing to have all the answers to every question! People believe its easier for me to ask than it is for them which is just not true. The main difference is I won’t let my fear stop me from asking.
The one thing I will do is ASK… even if it takes me a few hours or days to get there. If I need something I will ask immediately and if I feel I can’t I will stop and identify what is stopping me from asking and then work through it.
I will then ask even if my fear (or guilt or weakness) is right there in my face… In the middle of feeling fearful I will ask anyway. This (for me) has been the most powerful way to face my fears… and do it anyway 🙂
Many times the reason I can’t ask for what I want is because my mind is messing with me. Your negative mind will convince you that it’s not going to go well when you ask and it will bring up all sorts of stories about why not… YOU MUST LEARN TO STOP LISTENING TO THAT VOICE… you can thank it for sharing and then it to “f*@$k off!”
Now is the time to take back control over your mind and that damn voice! Let it know you’re back and you’re in charge and go out there and ask for whatever it is you want…. and let me know how it goes 🙂
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