Pain may sometimes be the reason why people change. It feeds into our motivation to change things.

Getting flunked grades makes us realize that we need to study. Being shy and never being asked out makes us realize we need to get rid of our shyness.

Debts reminds us of our inability to pay the bills, which can send us looking for an additional source of income.

Being humiliated gives us the ‘push’ to speak up.

“Don’t be afraid of the space between your dreams and reality. If you can dream it, you can make it so.” – Belva Davis

It may be a bitter experience, a friend’s tragic story, a great movie, or an inspiring book that will help us get up and get just the right amount of motivation we need in order to improve ourselves.

With the countless negatives the world brings about, how do we keep motivated?

I was watching Arthur 2 “on the rocks” – and I switched over to the channel to catch the moment where he is visited by the ghost of Hopson his trusted butler who has passed away.

At this point Arthur has lost the woman he loves and all his money. He is broke, homeless and drinking heavily.

Hopson reminds him that he can be anything he wants to in life and he shouldn’t choose this life of sleeping in hostels. When Arthur asks him why he should even bother to try and turn his life around Hopson tells him he has seen his son and his son is waiting to meet him.

As Arthur is childless at the time, hearing this inspires Arthur to pick himself up and turn his life around.

What was different? He had motivation, he suddenly found a reason to live again. Knowing you are about to become a parent can do that to you!

Find a reason WHY to build your self-confidence and to make things happen.

Even though that film is fiction the truth is when you have a powerful WHY in your life it is all the motivation you ever need to start the work towards improving your life.

If having no confidence is stopping you from doing everything you want to then it is time to find the motivation to start building confidence and to keep going

Building confidence can be one of the hardest journeys you make in life – especially if right now you have no confidence or you are painfully shy – and what kept me going was knowing I didn’t want my daughter being as shy as I was.

I wanted her to enjoy wearing short skirts, and being able to look in the mirror and see how beautiful she is unlike the way I grew up believing I was ugly.

When I started on my personal growth path it was hard work, having to look at all my weaknesses and why I did the things I did (and didn’t) so it wasn’t a happy or a pleasant journey but I did it.

I noticed the changes when suddenly I began to answer back or contribute to situations where I would normally have been quiet.

When I could decide whether I wanted to do something or not and say the word “NO” without feeling bad. I felt all these changes happening and that kept me on track to keep going.

If I ever had a bad day, week or even month where I went back to the old me of being shy and a doormat I reminded myself why I was building my self-confidence and started again.

Only, every time I started again it was from a stronger position of being a little bit more confident than I was before.

Eventually, I got to a point where I felt confident speaking up at meetings, contributing at events, I even became a teacher (I hated people looking at me so never thought I would do something like that) and started asking men out on dates.

Motivation is at the heart of confidence building and you will need a really, really BIG motivating factor to help you get started and keep going.

Exercise: Spend some time thinking about what your WHY is and come up with someone PAINFUL. Pain drives us more than pleasure.

Thinking you want to improve your confidence so you can join in conversations in groups is pleasure and might help to keep you focused but not as much as pain….

Deciding to improve your confidence so that you can say NO to all the extra work that your boss keeps giving you, which is actually their work but as you don’t say anything they continue to pile it on you.

That is a powerful motivator to help you get started and keep working at it. Ultimately find what works for you, pleasure or pain and use it to keep you going.


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