What happens to our self confidence in middle age? Why is it that at a time when we are sexually our most alluring (if we allow ourself to be) we spend it looking in the mirror and wishing we were in our 20s again.

I sometimes wish I was in my 20s but only because I spent it so shy and never doing anything with life I feel I wasted it a little and if I could go back I would travel and do as much as I could meeting great people along the way.

The problem with that is I am living in the past and I can’t go back – so what’s the point? If I could change it by focusing on it fair enough but its impossible to go back – so why bother?

I refuse to wish my body was any other way apart from how it is because it is a waste of time. I am on a serious weight loss program but again – not because there is anything wrong with the way I look – but because I want to stay healthy as I move into middle age and older. I want to remain flexible and being overweight has the potential to take away flexible and strength as we get older.

A lack of self confidence in middle age was instilled in us through TV and films, talking about it keeps it alive. Shirley Valentine was on the television last night and whilst I could never really understand what the fuss was about when it came out in the 80s I definitely understand it 20 years later! It is all about a middle aged woman yearning to do more in life and believing it is too late. She desperately wants to get back “the girl who used to be me!” as she has become stuck with being a woman who lives in a routine and is no longer appreciated.

The end result. She takes a holiday in Greece, decides to stay and finds herself again. She does something for her and she loves her life and herself as a result. At the end as her husband comes to Greece to find her he walks straight past her she is so very different.

We can all be Shirley Valentine but without running off and leaving our family behind. We can all choose to inject something new, or make a change no matter how small, moving towards what we want to do – something just for us.

Why aren’t we doing what we want?

I know as our children are born and they grow up we have to live a life based on a routine that fits into them going to school but once that is over and they are grown up what stops us from doing more? Picking up on things we once did? Nothing but us.

You waste your life when you focus on what’s wrong instead of what’s great. Every minute you spend wishing your body was different is another minute of your life you can never gain back. Having spent my 20s stuck in that way of living I know I will never go there again.

Instead of wishing you were doing more why not just get out there and do more?

For those of us living in the western world there is so much to live for and so very much to be thankful for if you could only stop a minute and take a look. Just having the ability to read this is something to be thankful for at the very least!

Taking a look at some of the things that might stop us from picking up on dreams we once had is a topic I am passionate about and will explore more over the coming weeks.

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