I wanted to end the year by writing something that I hope will inspire and guide you into staying on your journey to build self-confidence in 2012.

Not some wishful platitude that would fade away within a week but something you could use to keep you motivated. So my message for 2012 is this – “building self confidence is all about progress not perfection“.

I wanted to focus on this very important aspect of progress and perfection because without it I would have given up years ago.

I can hardly believe how hard I was on myself as I walked the path of increasing my own self awareness and confidence.

As if I should be ‘cured’ of my shyness simply because I completed a seminar or read a book.  After years of working on myself I couldn’t believe how quickly I would slip back into my old ways of hating myself or being unable to join in discussions with people if something went wrong in my life.

I felt as if I had failed and the whole self growth industry was a complete fraud that only wanted to take my money and trick me into believing that life could actually be different.

I wanted to be perfect, or whatever I thought perfect was at that time. I wanted to be the life and soul, to be standing up in front of hundreds of people delivering talks and until I could do that I continued to believe I was completely useless.

I believed that the only way I would know that I had managed to beat what was ‘wrong’ with me would be to get over them all completely so they never affected me again. I wanted to be free from all possible flaws – especially the flaw in me that I had come to know as ‘shyness’ and until I had achieved that nothing else mattered.


I can’t remember the exact moment I realized that building self confidence will be something I do for a very long time – maybe for life!

That personal growth should be something that only stopped the moment I exhaled my last breath.

I suddenly understood what my life coach meant and what I had heard at seminars and on audios. That this wasn’t about getting to the finish line, it wasn’t about completing anything.

The best part of this whole journey was what happened along the way as I spent my time doing my best to talk to strangers and managing successfully sometimes but slipping back into my shyness at other times.

As I stepped in front of 10 people and delivered a talk, then 50 people, then 100 people. Those were the moments of progress and all of those little steps were helping me to build a stronger and more confident me.

It was then that I realized that building self confidence is all about progress not perfection. About moving forward toward a destination not about arriving at it.

I don’t know when that moment of realization will come for you. Hopefully sooner rather than later. It might happen as a result of reading this or you may read this and understand it without truly ‘getting it’ – don’t worry – it just means it is not your time yet.

Your light bulb moment has yet to come. If after reading this you feel a sense of excitement at the realization that you don’t have to be perfect, you just have to keep moving forward then congratulations, you are there.

For 2012 all you need to do is keep reminding yourself of that, especially in those moments when it seems as if nothing is working or you want to give up.

If you set your goals so high that you are not achieving them rather than see it as a disappointment search for progress that has been made along the way.  Understanding that progress is far more powerful than perfection will really bring you to a strong sense of peace and give you room to have fun and take risks.

This Is Not A “Get Out Of Jail Free” Card

You know how easy it can be to let yourself off the hook. To look at everything that doesn’t succeed and say “well I tried, after all its progress” as if this phrase has given you a reason to stop trying.

I wanted to make sure I let you know before you even think of doing that, that if you are going to use this phrase it must come with some self inspection.

It is important you look at what’s happening with a keen eye to ensure you are not letting yourself off the hook otherwise your life will become a series of events that didn’t quite work out.

Build Your Self Confidence With Progress

If you have been working towards building self confidence or doing anything else on the personal growth journey from mastering the law of attraction to starting again after divorce or whatever it may be for you.

Understand that as you work your way towards whatever goal you have set yourself it is those little steps that you take, the little successes you experience and those challenges that make you feel as if you have taken a few steps back that really matter.

These are the things that I call progress and they will come together to create your success as long as you keep going.

These past few years have been challenging for many of us, myself included, I would love to be an enlightened soul and say I am glad that they have happened – truth is I would much rather avoid them! But I am grateful for the insights they provide and I understand them to be essential to build faith and strength within me.

I see everything that happens as PROGRESS towards my goal – even when things are not working out the way I want them to and no matter how bad things get. I keep my focus completely on what I desire to achieve and I allow the challenges of life to become part of  the great experiment called life.

I encourage you to do the same.

Have a wonderful, fun-filled, happy, abundant 2012.

May all your desires materialize and may you continue to be blessed with the self confidence to believe in yourself enough to keep moving forward. After all…. that’s progress.

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